Life, Swine Flu, and Breathing…

Sigh…So life has been a  little busy since June… I realized I have not updated my blog in almost 5 months.  WOW… First, please forgive me.  I did not forget about you, I just had to prioritize life a little.  The juggling act began on June 9th when sweet Haven entered our organized world.  Since then, our lives have been turned upside down, but in a good way.  Sometimes we need a little reorganizing and we don’t even know it.  So today for the first time in months I am sitting down at the computer to update you all.  My friends.  My supporters.  My prayer partners.  Thank you for sticking with me through the ups, downs, changes and lack of blogs :)    Let me tell you about life, now as we know it.  Haven is asleep in her bed, which is still in my room.   Ahem ;) . I am sitting on the couch, well laying on the couch, with a heating pad on my back.  Last week I somehow injured myself. Next to me is Dora (Hutch’s imaginary friend turned stuffed bear) and Ellie ( Hutch’s favorite, a stuffed elephant).  Hutch is laying across my legs.  We found out today that he has H1N1.  While I am trying to stay calm and not overreact – I decided to get on here and talk to you…Poor thing.  I have never seen him this miserable.  It is one of the hardest things to see your child hurting and know there is nothing you can do about it.  Maybe just a glimpse into part of, God’s view of the world of us…Seeing His children in pain and not being able to do anything about it because of the gift of free – will. The project He gave to us when the world began…or really when humanity began.  Of course I still do not have my mind fully wrapped around it ( it being suffering and God’s role in it ) but  I don’t believe we ever will on this side of Heaven.  But none the less I am hurting and I believe God is too.  I believe He is right here watching and  holding onto Hutch just like I am.  So we are trusting Him in all of this and taking every precation to help make Hutch well and to protect little Haven from getting it.  So I am just trying to remember to breathe. Funny, I just lead a guided prayer at church (Gracepointe) on Sunday morning about remembering to breathe.  The importance of breathing, making space for yourself.  Now I have to be reminded.  (By the way…Hutch must feel a little better since he just declared he is a ROCK STAR!  Ha)  So back to breathing… in and out… breathing in the Spirit of God and out everything that is not of God.  Breathe in healing,  let go of pain.  Breathe in peace, let go of confusion.  Breathe in and breathe out.  OK I feel a little better already just talking about it.  We will keep breathing and life will go on.  Life that is full, oh so full.  Full of beautiful children and memorable moments.  Like Batman and Batgirl… all dressed up for Trick or Treating.  Like being on a platform and knowing I am exactly where God wants me.  Like seeing my little girl’s face light up when she sees my face.  The list goes on and on…(sigh) now I can sigh for a good reason.  We are blessed.  AND You are too. Remember to breathe.  update you soon, I PROMISE :) Melissa